Maybe I can write Horriblescopes...

I'm practicing my horoscope writing.  See if these apply.

This is a different day for you and the word Jail comes up in conversation.  Maybe it's a good day to stay close to home.

Something you've been looking forward to is at the doorstep.  Today is a good day to check off items on your to do list.

You may feel like it's raining in your heart today, but the sunshine will be peeking through soon.  Keep your head up.

Do you feel like monkeys are flying out your a** and around the Eiffel Tower?  Be patient the thing you're searching for is near.  And don't forget to duck.

Well there's a few.  What do you think?  Could I write horoscopes for a living?

Enjoy the day.