The Messiest Alien

The Messiest Alien in the Mansion

I got home and picked up the mail from the floor and started looking at what arrived. The first 3 items were automatic approvals for three different credit cards. I ripped them in half and tossed them into the "shred box".   My shred box was so named because anything I throw in there will eventually get shredded into confetti.  So far it's worked well, though I had caught some money that seemed to make it into the box. I guess that's what you get when you empty your pockets and see nothing but paper and instead of going through each item they make it into the box. 

Back to my mail. Two bills came. The phone bill and the wireless phone bill.  A bit ironic perhaps that I keep a house phone but use my cell phone 90% of the time.  Oh well, just call me old-fashioned.

The next item was an odd looking envelope, it resembled a wedding or funeral invitation.  It was made of that good paper they always use for such things.  Hopefully it's not an invitation to a funeral, those things seem to just be dead and no life could ever be breathed into them. So I opened it and found out it was neither but an invitation to a party at the McKinney Mansion.  "Now who do I know at the McKinney Mansion that would invite ME to a party." Looking at the details of the party it said nothing of required attire or whether or not it was a masquerade party.  "I guess it's a 'come as you are' party."  I filled out the RSVP card and dropped it in the mailbox stating that I will of course attend the party

What happens to the RSVP card when is marked and deposited in the mailbox? It automatically transports itself to the sender so the sender can call the invitee thank you for responding so quickly and the attire is casual, but be sure to wear clothes. We've had problems before when using the "come as you are" notation people took it literally and came to the party naked.  We HAD to let them in since no clothing requirement had been established beyond what the invitee would, under most circumstances, have the intellectual prowess to wear clothes even if it were the clothes they spent all day raking out the horse stalls at the local race track.

Of course the phone rings and I answer it "Hello?"

"Hello, yes, have I reached..." (and he recited my phone number and name which I exclude here for privacy reasons, after all I don't want just anybody calling me at all hours of the day or night do I?)

"Yes you have reached me.  Who is this please?"

"We just received your RSVP for the party and wanted to remind you that, while the card does not state what the dress code is, I assure you it's casual. Please do not wear anything that smells of livestock or any other creature except yourself and then only after you've showered and applied the correct amount of deodorant and other such smelly stuff you may wear on occasions such as this. That being said, have a great and pleasant day and see you at the CLIMB Mansion on the 21st. "